November 20, 2010. I can't believe that it has been two years since she died. Mommy, my aunt. She was everyone's second mom. Such a very kind, a very patient, a very understanding and loving woman.
It's been two years.. but it seems like it was just a month ago. The same painful feelings cover me as I write this piece. I can still recall clearly how everything went that day.
Just got off from work, I and Winston had breakfast together as i plan to go directly to the hospital and spend some time with Mommy. It was so difficult to finish my food, thinking about her and her condition - i have not seen her awake since leg got amputated. The background music was Mariah Carey's version of "Silent Night" which is so heartful. I was sobbing. I was praying and hoping then, that she'd be better by Christmas time.
I went straight to the hospital. She was still asleep. There have been a lot of tracking devices and dextrose connected to her body. And worse, my mom (my biological mother) was holding an ambu-bag (the one used to pump air in the patient's mouth) - made me wonder, "Why? What's next?" That scenario was undeniably painful.
She was still asleep and I took over the pumping. I was talking to her and at the same time praying.
It was about lunch time when i decided to go home and take some rest because I still have to go to work that night. Past one o'clock in the afternoon when i got home. I changed clothes and just when i was about to lay down, i got a text message from my mom "Anak, wala na si mommy..." - speech less. At that very moment i wanted to panic, but at the same time i was not moving, i cannot move.
After a while, i was able to regain my thoughts. Then i hurriedly changed clothes again and went back to the hospital. I was texting my cousins about what just happened.
I reached the hospital, but something's stopping me from going in. It was so hard to walk towards her room. Until i was finally there..
I opened the door, my cousin and my mom were sitting on the couch. And there she was, lying peacefully. But this time, there were no more apparatus and machines - just her body in her death bed. Then i wonder why i couldnt cry. Not even a single tear fell from my eyes. But deep inside i was screaming of so much hurt!
I was just staring at her thinking maybe if i could've stayed a bit longer..
I miss her so much.
Victorina Bulaon Bugarin (RIP)
February 25, 1945 - November 20, 2008
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
100 Truths
100 Truths
Whatta great idea to spend my cyber time =D
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = Pineapple Juice
2. last phone call = Naneeh
3. last text message= 7210 (load hehehe)
4. last song you listened to = Runaway
5. last time you cried = i think last week, a good cry.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = Nope
7. been cheated on = fortunately, not yet.
8. kissed someone & regretted it = yes. someone who i've been pathetically with for one week!
9. lost someone special = yes.
10. been depressed = of course i have
11. been drunk and threw up = drunk but never throw up.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOR
12. Black
13. Violet
14. Green
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend = Yes. My new division-mates, Heather and Monica
16. Fallen out of love= No
17. Laughed until you cried = yes
18. Met someone who changed you? = no, not this year
19. Found out who your true friends were = yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you = nope
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend list = nope
GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life = about 95%
24. Do you have any pets = i dont
25. Do you want to change your name = nope
26. What did you do for your last birthday = i cooked pancit and brought it in the office. my team mates bought me a gallon of ice cream and sugar cones!
27. What time did you wake up today = 12:50 pm, and 6:03 pm =)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = working
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = hehe.. naneeh's gift for me and opcorz r wedding =)
30. Last time you saw your Mother = 9hrs ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = nothing
32. What are you listening to right now = cater to you
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = yup. i had a hs classmate named tom
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = nothing. im in a semi-NR mood =|
35. Most visited webpage = coastalhr (for some reason), fb, ymail, blogsite
37. Nicknames = tutai, annebu
39. Zodiac sign = Gemini
40. He or She? = da who? =D
41. Elementary? = Dr. Alejandro Albert in Dapitan
42. High School = Sacred Heart Academy
43. College = Adamson U
45. Long or short = mid =D
46. Height = 5'3
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = jason statham
48: What do you like about yourself? = hehe.. flexible
49. Piercings = ears
50. Tattoos = none.
51. Righty or lefty = righty and 40% lefty ;)
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery = nada
53. First piercing = ears.. and the only
54. First best friend = joecil ramos, my childhood friend
55. First sport you joined = badminton
56. First vacation = if with naneeh, tagaytay
58. First pair of trainers = on what?
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = no
61. I'm about to = go home
62. Listening to =mc's breakdown
63. Waiting for = 6:00
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? = super!
65. Get Married? = yes..
66. Career? = of course!
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes? = eyes
66. Hugs or kisses = hugs
69. Shorter or taller = depends =)
71. Romantic or spontaneous = romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = arms
73. Sensitive or loud = sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = trouble maker =D
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = no
77. Drank hard liquor = yep
78. Lost glasses/contacts = dont own any
79. Sex on first date = no-no
80. Broken someone's heart = yes
81. Had your own heart broken = many times
82. Been arrested = nope
83. Turned someone down = yep
84. Cried when someone died = sure
85. Fallen for a friend? = yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = 99%
87. Miracles = yes
88. Love at first sight = no
89. Heaven = yes
90. Santa Clause = i used to
91. Kiss on the first date = no
92. Angels = yes
-- fairies? -- not sure
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf? = well ah..
95. Did you sing today? = yiz
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = well ahh
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = i'd rather not to, but just if, since i started working.. could've saved more and could've bought my own car early.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? = cant think of any
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = i LOOVE falling in love
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = no! nyehehe
Whatta great idea to spend my cyber time =D
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = Pineapple Juice
2. last phone call = Naneeh
3. last text message= 7210 (load hehehe)
4. last song you listened to = Runaway
5. last time you cried = i think last week, a good cry.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = Nope
7. been cheated on = fortunately, not yet.
8. kissed someone & regretted it = yes. someone who i've been pathetically with for one week!
9. lost someone special = yes.
10. been depressed = of course i have
11. been drunk and threw up = drunk but never throw up.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOR
12. Black
13. Violet
14. Green
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend = Yes. My new division-mates, Heather and Monica
16. Fallen out of love= No
17. Laughed until you cried = yes
18. Met someone who changed you? = no, not this year
19. Found out who your true friends were = yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you = nope
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend list = nope
GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life = about 95%
24. Do you have any pets = i dont
25. Do you want to change your name = nope
26. What did you do for your last birthday = i cooked pancit and brought it in the office. my team mates bought me a gallon of ice cream and sugar cones!
27. What time did you wake up today = 12:50 pm, and 6:03 pm =)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = working
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = hehe.. naneeh's gift for me and opcorz r wedding =)
30. Last time you saw your Mother = 9hrs ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = nothing
32. What are you listening to right now = cater to you
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = yup. i had a hs classmate named tom
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = nothing. im in a semi-NR mood =|
35. Most visited webpage = coastalhr (for some reason), fb, ymail, blogsite
37. Nicknames = tutai, annebu
39. Zodiac sign = Gemini
40. He or She? = da who? =D
41. Elementary? = Dr. Alejandro Albert in Dapitan
42. High School = Sacred Heart Academy
43. College = Adamson U
45. Long or short = mid =D
46. Height = 5'3
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = jason statham
48: What do you like about yourself? = hehe.. flexible
49. Piercings = ears
50. Tattoos = none.
51. Righty or lefty = righty and 40% lefty ;)
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery = nada
53. First piercing = ears.. and the only
54. First best friend = joecil ramos, my childhood friend
55. First sport you joined = badminton
56. First vacation = if with naneeh, tagaytay
58. First pair of trainers = on what?
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = no
61. I'm about to = go home
62. Listening to =mc's breakdown
63. Waiting for = 6:00
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? = super!
65. Get Married? = yes..
66. Career? = of course!
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes? = eyes
66. Hugs or kisses = hugs
69. Shorter or taller = depends =)
71. Romantic or spontaneous = romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = arms
73. Sensitive or loud = sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = trouble maker =D
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = no
77. Drank hard liquor = yep
78. Lost glasses/contacts = dont own any
79. Sex on first date = no-no
80. Broken someone's heart = yes
81. Had your own heart broken = many times
82. Been arrested = nope
83. Turned someone down = yep
84. Cried when someone died = sure
85. Fallen for a friend? = yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = 99%
87. Miracles = yes
88. Love at first sight = no
89. Heaven = yes
90. Santa Clause = i used to
91. Kiss on the first date = no
92. Angels = yes
-- fairies? -- not sure
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf? = well ah..
95. Did you sing today? = yiz
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = well ahh
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = i'd rather not to, but just if, since i started working.. could've saved more and could've bought my own car early.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? = cant think of any
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = i LOOVE falling in love
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = no! nyehehe
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Next...
Blog... the answer to boredom (for me, at least, and for this moment).
Obviously, it's been a long while since my last blog, and that's for so many reasons (which i'm too lazy to enumerate) =P
What i'd like to write about today are my plans and ideas, perhaps, for the next three to four months to come.
Right now, we're at the third week of November. Just to back track a bit, last week, I and Winston spent our whole weekend together. We went to Bulacan for his cousin's debut. I also had the chance to visit one of my bestest buddy kumare, Carmi (naks!) It was a very nice weekend! - spending time with a good friend, meet my fiance's extended family and families and bond with them.. what more can i ask for?
For the rest of the month, as far as i can remember, we have planned for a weekend to go back to Marilaque - where riders have their ways of enjoying their bikes, and nature-lovers please themselves with the wonderful spots.
December, aside from the Christmas celebration at home (we don't have work on the 24th, yay!), we also plan to start working on the requirements for our wedding =D Although I can imagine that it can only take a week or two to finish, we'd still want to have it ready to avoid cramming.
We also plan to start looking for a house - we'd like to be able to move before the wedding =)
January, after all the holiday celebrations, if things go in places and on time, we'll move in and buy stuff for our home.
Of course, this is also the time when we should prepare all other things needed for the wedding. Go to our chosen god mothers/fathers, send invites, buy clothes, etc.
February, no other plans... but to marry my man =) and everything else will follow.
How I wish we could take a long vacation leave after...
Obviously, it's been a long while since my last blog, and that's for so many reasons (which i'm too lazy to enumerate) =P
What i'd like to write about today are my plans and ideas, perhaps, for the next three to four months to come.
Right now, we're at the third week of November. Just to back track a bit, last week, I and Winston spent our whole weekend together. We went to Bulacan for his cousin's debut. I also had the chance to visit one of my bestest buddy kumare, Carmi (naks!) It was a very nice weekend! - spending time with a good friend, meet my fiance's extended family and families and bond with them.. what more can i ask for?
For the rest of the month, as far as i can remember, we have planned for a weekend to go back to Marilaque - where riders have their ways of enjoying their bikes, and nature-lovers please themselves with the wonderful spots.
We also plan to start looking for a house - we'd like to be able to move before the wedding =)
Of course, this is also the time when we should prepare all other things needed for the wedding. Go to our chosen god mothers/fathers, send invites, buy clothes, etc.
February, no other plans... but to marry my man =) and everything else will follow.
How I wish we could take a long vacation leave after...
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